Here I am, standing at my son’s baptism, between him and my daughter. Paige just turned 19 and was baptized almost 2 years ago and Jordan at 14 was preparing to be baptized. It has been almost 6 ½ years since my husband’s death. Paige was still 12 at the time and Jordan was 8. I remember when I realized that I might lose him. I went to the closet where I cried and begged God not to take him.

The following is the amazing testimony of Pat Parnell. Pat taught a class for single parent moms at the ICYFM April 16-18 in Chicago. To listen now to her class entitled "Parenting Single" please click here.

I thought, I could handle it if I had to, but it would be devastating for my children and there was no way I could raise them on my own, especially Jordan. He was all boy, and intricately linked to his dad. They liked the same cartoons, liked to burp and “pladap” (their word for passing gas) just for fun and liked anything sweet. Jordan even looks like his dad. Whenever he walks away I am sure I’m seeing his father’s behind.

They were inseparable. Jordan could not be around him without some part of him touching some part of his dad. I was afraid for both of my children, but especially Jordan. I still have memories of Jordan wanting to die so he could go be with his dad.

Now here I am…standing at the baptism, thinking, “I am living out my fear, but we are having an incredible victory.” As I look at the crowd that gathered it was clear what got us here…God’s grace and faithfulness. One of the scriptures I’ve held on to over the years is “God is the defender of the widow and the father to the fatherless” (Psalm 68:5) Surrounded by friends at the baptism, what stood out to me the most was how God has used godly men to strengthen my family and deliver on his promise to father the fatherless.

Over the years, John and Pat Brush, friends of ours and elders in the church, had us over for dinner on a consistent basis. We, sometimes the kids without me, would have dinner with them. Then John would pull out a piece of carpet, a.k.a the wrestling mat, and he and Jordan would wrestle. They did that for quite awhile until John’s 50 something back could take it no longer.

Jordan was an active boy and loved to wrestle. He would go to church and find selected brothers to wrestle with, on the stage, in the aisles, whether they were in a suit, or not, and they would let him! I would often wonder if they understood how good that was for him, how important for his development, and his trust in God.

Then there was Brian Santos. Our families have been best friends for years, before my husband’s death. At 12, Jordan started going to Teen Camp in Orlando where Brian lives and he invited Jordan to come spend a week with him after camp. This coming summer will be his 4th with Uncle Brian. They get to hang out, have heart to hearts, open the Bible, talk about his dad and of course, wrestle. Jordan and Brandon, Brian’s son, are like brothers and Brian shared at the baptism that he loves Jordan like a son.

There were times, especially when Jordan was about 8 and 9, when he would express that he didn’t like being the only boy in the house. I guess between the nail polish, his sister’s drama, and the empty chair at the dinner table which served as a painful reminder of his father’s absence, he needed a place to escape and just be a boy. That place was the Stearns’ home. Joe and Pam had 2 boys (they had a daughter, but she didn’t count) and a big yard. Jordan could go there anytime and play. He was always welcomed. He would sometimes come home smelling foul, but it was so good for him. The younger son, Daniel has become Jordan’s best friend. Our children went to the same school and Joe went to the school’s administration after Rich’s death and asked that the boys be in class together so that Jordan could have a buddy during this difficult time. Both boys were 8 and this was the beginning of their friendship.

When Jordan was in 6th grade it was clear to me he needed a mentor. He needed consistent “man time” on a weekly basis. While there were brothers who cared about him, I needed someone who could make time for him on a consistent basis. So, I prayed about it for several months. I prayed for someone spiritual, who would be a great example and who would take special interest in him. It was important for me that he had someone that I didn’t need to follow up on to spend time with him. This needed to a positive, self esteem building relationship.

Then there was Jason Decambre. He came up to me at a seminar and said he had been thinking about Jordan and wanted to know if he could begin spending time with him. My husband and I knew Jason when he was converted back-in-the-day as a teen. He was now married, at the time had one young daughter and was a faithful disciple. He was an answer to prayer. Jason was loyal to Jordan. I never had to call to set up a time with the two of them. He did. He was the first person to start Bible Studies with Jordan and he was only in the 6th grade. Jason planted seeds that would later produce fruit.

About a year and half later, Jason told me he and his family would be relocating. When he told me, my insides quivered. I didn’t want Jordan to lose him. This was another opportunity for me to trust God. Jason said he would be praying about it and so was I. However, he didn’t want me to worry, he would take care of finding a replacement.

Jason approached me a few weeks later and said he was thinking about this brother named Rojal. I had seen Rojal around, knew who he was, but really didn’t know him well at all. I checked around and asked other disciples who knew him and what they thought about him mentoring Jordan. They all had great things to say. He was faithful, he had been instrumental in the lives of some of their teens, and he had a great heart. Rojal was another answer to prayers. He and Jason were friends so Jason wanted to approach him with the idea. When he did, Rojal said, “You know, I had been praying about Jordan.” God is amazing.

And so began Jordan’s relationship with Rojal. He has been a great mentor and friend. Despite the fact that he is married with 2 young children, he consistently makes time for Jordan on a weekly basis. The amazing thing is that Rojal and Jordan share something in common. Rojal also lost his dad at 8. They understand each other’s hurts and even each other’s sins. We have shared pictures and stories about the dads, both dads have things in common. It’s uncanny the way God works.

So, we stand ready to baptize Jordan. His sister and I are choked up. She shares how their dad would be proud of him. I stand in amazement at what God has done and is now doing. Rojal is asking him his good confession as Dave Schoeff looks on. Rojal and Dave will be the ones dunking him in the waters of baptism. Dave had jumped in the studies with Jordan. He is just a great disciple and friend who wanted to get in and help out with Jordan. He loves and believes in him.

They dunk him in the water and as they bring him up, a white bird flies above their heads. We take it as no special symbol, but for me, it serves as a reminder of the absolute faithfulness of God.

Later, when I got home and had a chance to think about the baptism, another thought came to me. It is so important that fathers leave a legacy of faithfulness, discipleship, service, love for God and his church. It would have been difficult as a single mom to build all these relationships with these brothers, most of whom are married.

But I didn’t need to, Rich, my husband, had already done that. At both of my children’s baptism his faithfulness, love for people, openness and his example as a man of God were repeatedly shared. The overwhelming majority of brothers (including those who jump in to fill a need, from take your child to work day, father son retreats, helping to pay for teen camp, to making sure we have a reliable car!) are men that were either converted by Rich, were in a discipling relationship with him, served with him, or were faithful friends of his.

Among them is his brother John, who he studied with and baptized. Jordan received a Bible from one of these men. The same Bible had been given to the brother by Rich. We received emails from friends in different places, some talked about the impact Rich had on them. I will be putting together a baptism scrapbook including these emails with thoughts about his dad.

It is a reminder that godly men, young and old, are not born, but made through godly relationships. This is something to remember, not just for our sake, but for the sake of our children.

Praise God for his faithfulness!